Misc: No, you may not ‘pick my brain'

I am not sure when the phrase “pick your brain” began to be used as a substitute “I would like you to give me free advice and possibly throw in some consulting work and you will probably have to pay for your own coffee”.

And I am not sure why my reaction to seeing or hearing it is so visceral.

In 2013 I started saying no to certain of these kinds of requests: if I asked you for specifics - and in some cases, I went so far as to assign ‘homework’ - and you couldn’t follow-up or weren’t willing to commit to, I declined.

I say often that people don’t scale, and I certainly don’t. My commitment to supporting the members of the various communities of which I am a part, and to mentorship, would be undermined if I devoted hours to people who are not willing to do the work. Saying no meant saying yes to more meaningful engagements with people who are themselves committed and driven. And it is a regular reminder that when I ask for help, I too need to be prepared to do the work.

An extract from my weekly #awesomewomen newsletter